TWICE THE TEMPERATURE, HALF THE TIME^TM!

Catchy, isn’t it? But what does it mean? Why, I appreciate you asking! Let me explain.

It’s simple, really. Anyone who has completed junior high math, or can at least operate a calculator, can apply this principle. In order to cook foodstuffs, one puts said foodstuffs in the oven at a certain temperature for a certain amount of time. Thus the formula for cooked food is:

number of degrees  x  time in minutes  =  cooked food   (also written as    n^d  x  t  =  cf)

Let’s say you have a roast you’d like to cook for supper, but you don’t want to wait an hour and a half for it to cook. So you whip out your calculator and apply the TWICE THE TEMPERATURE, HALF THE TIME^TM principle.

An average roast cooks at 325º for 90 minutes. So if you set your oven (or kiln, whatever the case may be) for twice 325º (which would be 650º), the roast will only need half of the 90 minutes (which would be 45 minutes) to cook. Wonderful!

Let’s look at the scientific explanation for this roast-cooking phenomenon.

Old-fashioned cooking method:

325º  x  90 minutes  =  29,250

New-fangled cooking method:

650º  x  45 minutes  =  29,250

There you have it, folks- scientific proof that TWICE THE TEMPERATURE, HALF THE TIME^TM really works! As you can see, the same number of degrees is applied to your meat, but in half the time. Voilà! The TWICE THE TEMPERATURE, HALF THE TIME^TM principle makes your life more efficient, one supper at a time!

*Letters of adoration and generous monetary contributions to fund my cooking show are graciously accepted.

*The Great F is not responsible for any illness acquired due to food poisoning or salmonella.

*This principle is a trademark of the Get Rich Quick Schemes Department of Great F Unlimited.