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A Sock Monkey at the Beach
July 5th, 2008 by witherow
Once upon a time the Park family went to the magical island of Hilton Head for a much-needed vacation. Because this was the Park family, they decided not to take normal pictures and instead focus on the adventures of a little sock monkey who came along with them.
The journey to the island was a long one and took place in a Honda CR-V that was a little small for four twenty-something girls and their mother. So while Mom drove and Becky whined about people poking her and Emily read a book about visual impairment and Heidi mastered a book of Sudoku puzzles and Molly read some theological book and longed desperately for her French dictionary even though she doesn’t speak French, Sock Monkey tried to find a safe place to hang out without Heidi squishing him between the car roof and the sun visor (which, tragically, happened at least once). When Sock Monkey and the Parks arrived at the slightly skuzzy Metropolitan Hotel, they were confused by this sign on the window leading out to the half-foot-wide balcony:
Apparently the hotel owners wanted them to know that yes, it is “legal to have owl on railing.” Sock Monkey wondered if they had accidentally ended up at Hogwarts. The Parks’ best guess was that at one time the lettering had said “Illegal to have towel on railing.” This dilapidation of the Metropolitan’s signage, coupled with the bug on the mattress pad they received instead of the extra blanket they had asked for, and the blank stare the people at the desk gave Mrs. Park when she asked for some … what was it called? … oh, yeah, SOAP, convinced the Park family to find another hotel for the remainder of their trip.
The first evening on the island, Sock Monkey and the Parks went to sit out on the beach as the sun set. It really was beautiful. The next day was also spent at the beach. 
Sock Monkey had a great time hanging out with Heidi,
and Becky, who was listening to her Ipod,
and Molly, who was reading some other weird book,
and Mom, who tried to squeeze Sock Monkey’s life out between the pages of a book on corporate leadership (poor Sock Monkey!).
So Sock Monkey decided to hang out by Dr. Seuss-like sandcastle Becky had made by dripping very wet sand into globs.
Like on any vacation, the Parks also had to go shopping. A lot. And find weird stuff to take pictures of. Though nothing could beat last year’s sequined fanny packs and “pickled baloney rope,” this year’s grand prize winner was this solar-powered flashlight.
So if you need the sun to power the flashlight, does it not work in the dark? Emily was greatly confused by this.
Well, so much for that. Back to the beach, where Becky and Molly built Sock Monkey the Grandpappy of all Sandcastles.
It was four stories tall with a drawbridge, a Pit of Death, and multiple wooden spikes to discourage invaders and the nearby drunk frat boys who might try to kick it over.
Sock Monkey approved. Then, after some more adventures, including getting lost and driving around in circles, receiving painful sunburns and eating more highly-caloric food than one family should in one week, Sock Monkey and the Parks returned to the Upstate, where Monkey will happily live out the rest of his days, reflecting on his Adventure of the Grandest Sort and trying not to get squished by more books.
Posted in Hijinks, That's life | tagged beach, Hilton Head, Park Family, Sock Monkey, Vacation | | 0 Comments
