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Football
September 1st, 2008 by witherow
For a long time I didn’t understand the mysterious game of American football (which, incidentally, is not the same as non-American football, which is the same as soccer. They make this confusing on purpose). Now, after doing a little research online, and even going so far as to watch a game or a half, usually in the middle of talking or eating salty carbohydrates, I now understand the basic premise of the game.
Basically, American football works like this: One lucky team member catches the ball and runs as far as he can with it until all of the 400-pound guys on the other team jump on top of him in an attempt to crush him. Then the officials blow the whistle, all injured players are cleared off the field, and they start the exact same process over again, just about 9 feet closer to the goal than the last time. If a player actually makes it into the end zone, he does a goofy dance to show everyone how glad he is that all of his bones are still intact.
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